(LONDON) In a move that surprised many in the rock world, the Rolling Stones have asked Tony Blair to leave the group. “I’m devastated, of course,” said Blair, “My contributions to the group may have suffered in recent months, but I don’t think being kicked out of the band was the proper way to handle this.” “Look, man,” said Keith Richards, “Tony’s a good guy and a great mate and all that stuff, but the Stones are an institution. You don’t mess with the formula. Tony wanted to go off in some sort of direction that we as a band weren’t really going.” “It’s really more than that,” added Mick Jagger, “We can’t be planning a tour and then suddenly Tony’s off on some new speech to help out America’s President. I mean, where are your priorities? How can we even rehearse when one of us is going off to some hastily-called joint session of Congress?

Happier times. Mick and Tony.

“I believe that characterization is unfair and unjust,” responded Blair, “Mick is always doing his own thing. I mean, let’s be realistic. The band doesn’t even travel together anymore. We just show up to the gig and do our thing. I think Mick and Keith are hiding behind that excuse. What’s really at play here is politics, plain and simple. As well of course Mick’s obvious jealousy at my increased role in the band.”

“Look, man,” said Richards, “Whatever Tony’s whining about is not even relevant. He’s out of the band. End of story.”

Sources close to Blair say the Prime Minister is contemplating a solo blues career, but offers have already begun pouring in from American acts.

Lee Greenwood of God Bless The USA fame is hoping Blair will agree to perform with him on an album of duets. As well, Ted Nugent is seeking Blair’s participation on an upcoming tour.

“He can come and go as he pleases as far as I’m concerned,” said Nugent, “And if he needs to go talk to America and prop up Bush as he starts to sink in the polls? Whatever floats your boat, Your Excellency. If the Stones want to cut loose one of the rockinest Prime Ministers in the history of Great Britain, well here’s one Yankee not too proud to open the door to him.”

“Look, man,” said Richards, “Ah, nevermind.”

*Editor's Note: Another rockin’ politician was Millard Fillmöre.