|
|
AMERICAPOLL
Asking
American Males the Simple Question:
Ginger
or Maryanne?
In
news that is sure to upend many trends within
the advertising, fashion and music industries, RadioFreeBabylon today
announced the findings of a poll which yielded
the not-so-astonishing result that American
males overwhelmingly prefer Maryanne to Ginger.
“We
polled heterosexual American males between
the ages of 13 to 65. So as not to color
the results, we did not ask our subjects
which of the two castaways they would rather
kiss, marry, or sleep with,” explains
Rosa DeGraffe of RFB Research and Marketing, “We
simply asked them one question: ‘Ginger
or Maryanne?’”
“What
this in effect says,” explains DeGraffe, “Is
that men, overwhelmingly, and in fact unanimously,
prefer wholesome and unpretentious to gorgeous
and so-called sexy, even among those of our
subjects who frequented strip clubs or read
pornography on a regular basis.”
“These
findings indicate that the very tactics women
are urged to employ by their music idols,
the advertisers and fashion designers, will
in fact backfire on them,” said the
researcher.
|
|
DeGraffe
reports that most subjects participating in the survey
did not even hesitate when responding, often prefacing
their answer with a snort or a comment such as “You
have to ask?” One respondent did hesitate and
stated, “It’s not a fair question. What
about Mrs. Howell?”
“It
was a given to them. They expressed that the whole
notion of even having to take a poll on this question
was stupid,” said DeGraffe.
“This
is incredible news,” said Deidre Nelson of
the American Association of Junior and Senior High
School Counselors, which reported a dramatic increase
in the wearing of “provocative dress” last
year among girls ages 12 to 18.
“We
send girls home all the time,” said Nelson, “It’s
out of hand. I don’t know what’s fueling
it, maybe music, maybe Madison Avenue, maybe aliens,
but we’ll be sure to get this information into
the hands of our membership. Hopefully they’ll
get it into the hands of the girls.”
On
word of the findings, fashion designers in New York,
Paris and London scrambled to adjust their upcoming
fall-lineups to favor Capri pants, checkered shirts
and bandanas.
DeGraffe
cautions that it isn’t just a matter of clothing.
“It’s
more an attitude than it is a style of dress,” she
says, “Maryanne was unassuming and sweet while
Ginger was seductive and manipulative. Our respondents
often referred to Ginger as a ‘slut’.”
Members
of the National Organization for Women denounced
the study as sexist and chauvinistic, picketing the
Radio Free Babylon™ Research Center outside Orlando.
“The
results of this poll should not be the focus here,” said
Andrea Mendoza of NOW, “Until women are no
longer judged by their beauty or their bust size,
until they are given the same rights as men to pursue
their dreams based on their abilities and their skills,
then we can’t call this a civilized society.”
“We
couldn’t agree more,” said Kimberly Wilson,
spokesperson for RFB, “and our findings support
exactly what Ms. Mendoza is saying. And I will note
that Maryanne’s breasts were in fact smaller
than Ginger’s. If Ms. Mendoza needs someone
to picket, we suggest Cosmopolitan magazine or MTV.”
Mendoza
asserts that RFB’s findings imply that men
are “afraid of powerful women and favor women
in subservient roles.”
“Quite
the contrary,” says DeGraffe, “What this
says is that Maryanne, for all her meekness, was
the more powerful one. And try though she did, Ginger's
attempts to 'be sexy' were miscalculated. Men find
Maryanne far sexier because she isn't trying so hard
to be sexy. Men would willingly yield her all the
power she could ever want.”
©2007 Radio Free Babylon™, LLC All Rights Reserved.
|
|
